Today was pleasant. Though there were several times I found myself missing Dad and wishing he were with us. If he were alive, he’d have enjoyed the day. But if he were alive, we’d be in New York, not here.
I slept later than usual. After not sleeping the night before and getting to bed late, I had a terrible headache. The sleep helped a little, though it has returned periodically throughout the day. Since my son enjoys eating breakfast on the breakwater, after I showered and dressed, we drove down there. I brought the crumb cake my son made on Wednesday. Eating the cake, I thought of Dad. How could I not. The water was clear and the air was warm — for November — tempting me to jump in, but I didn’t. The dead deer floating in the water was a bit of a deterrent.
After we ate, I picked up my brother. We headed over to Snail Road and the dunes. The three of us hiked across the dunes to the ocean. Periodically, we stopped — for me to take pictures, or for my brother to draw, or my son to write poetry. The colors of the landscape seemed more vivid than they do in the summer. The water was calm and clear. Out in the distance three seals swam and played. On the way back, my brother helped my son practice a yoga headstand. My son is determined to be able to do it on his own, but for now his uncle guided him and gave him advice on how best to do it. Dad would have really liked walking with us. Mom couldn’t come because walking on the sand would have been hard with her bad knees and feet. But Dad would have had a great time. It would have made him happy to spend the morning with us.
Back at my brother’s, we ate lunch — left over baked ziti from yesterday. The four of us then took a walk down Commercial Street with my brother’s dogs. Of course, my son wanted to hold their leashes. He’s always happy when he gets to be with Emma and Lily. Commercial Street was less crowded than in the summer, but more crowded than I expected it to be. Many of the restaurants are closed this time of year, some of the shops too. A few even closed for good due to the pandemic. Dad would have had fun with us on that walk also. But since he wasn’t there, Mom held onto my brother’s arm. There was a heaviness about her, a heaviness that she’s had since April. It’s almost as if she’s being weighed down with sorrow, the constant missing of her life partner.
For dinner, my brother transformed leftovers from yesterday into a whole new meal. He took an American Thanksgiving dinner and turned it into a Persian dish. It was really tasty. While he cooked, my son and I played cards and dominoes with Mom. Luck seemed to be with my son, since he did most of the winning.
My son and I got back to the condo in which we are staying rather late. We called my spouse to say goodnight. She spent most of the day sleeping. We missed her, but at least we’ll be able to see her for Christmas — hopefully. I do hope her school does not go back to in-person instruction until the Covid numbers drop. After the call, my son asked if we could please play a game, just the two of us, so we played scrabble.
Elizabeth Jaeger 