Mom was up before dawn today so that she could vote. She was concerned that the line might be terrible. Her legs and feet are not great so she was concerned about a long wait. I suggested she go early, arrive when they open. I also said I’d call her when I went out for my early morning walk to make sure she was awake. As promised, I called at 5:30. She was already dressed and ready to go. This was the first election in years that she was going to the polls alone. She and dad always went together. Even before Dad retired, she’d leave early in the morning with him. They’d walk to the polls together and then Dad would head to the bus stop and she’d go home. For the last ten years, during Dad’s retirement election mornings were more relaxing. They could take their time because neither of them had anywhere to be. Like every morning since April, Mom was lonely. She missed Dad. But after she voted, she called me and I could hear the smile in her voice. The line wasn’t long — only nineteen people ahead of her. And she got to cast her vote against her husband’s killer. “It’s the only thing I can do,” she told me. “It’s the only way I can try to get a little justice for your father.”
As for me, I voted the last week of September. Since I’m temporarily living in New York, I didn’t have a choice. I filled out my ballot and dropped it in the ballot box outside the local courthouse. I sure as hell wasn’t missing this election. And I’m sure you have no doubts as to who I voted for.
Four years ago, my son and I had pizza for dinner before his taekwondo class. We sat down at table to eat and looked up at the television to watch Fox News — obviously not my choice. The anxiety then was thick. After we ate he had class and then we went home, turned on CNN and cuddled up on the couch together to watch the election results roll in. We felt confident Hillary would win. She was by far the more qualified candidate. But as projections were made and the map filled up in red, anxiety grew. But I couldn’t stay awake, neither could my son. He had school in the morning so we eventually put him to bed, and then my eyes defeated me. In the middle of the night, I woke up to go to the bathroom and before I returned to bed I picked up my tablet and googled “Who won the election?” Donald’s smarmy smile popped up on the screen. I felt sick — and I know I wasn’t the only one. Hillary won the popular vote, which means the majority of Americas got stuck with someone they hated and distrusted. We were in despair. We hit the streets in protest almost immediately because we knew Donald would destroy this country. And we were right. He killed my father and 235,000 other Americans with his lies and inaction. He has stoked the fires of racial discord. And he had encouraged his minions to plan a coup in Michigan, drive Biden’s bus off the road, and intimidate votes at the polls. Four years later, America isn’t great. It’s on the verge of a Civil War and if we don’t elect someone new, the virus may kill us all before we even get a chance to either heal or kill each other.
Anxiety was thick all day. My son and I were both restless. School work seemed to drag. My son injured his toe doing taekwondo. The living room is too small for a good workout and when he was practicing crescent kicks he smashed his foot into the furniture. The poor kid is finally getting used to Zoom classes and now he is limping from the pain and swelling in his toe. For dinner, we ate pizza and then, to distract ourselves from the election, we watched a National Geographic documentary about wildlife in the mountains. At 8:30 we turned on CNN and watched as the results rolled in. Of course, Biden took New York and New Jersey. But there are still so many states and electoral votes to go. However, I’m falling asleep. I think I have to go to bed…but I’m sure I won’t sleep through the night. I’ll check in again with google when I wake up.
On another note, TLR Online published my most recent book review. Garden by the Sea is a fantastic read. I highly recommend it. You can find my review here: https://www.theliteraryreview.org/book-review/review-garden-by-the-sea-by-merce-rodoreda/.
Elizabeth Jaeger 